when you’re hungry.

“Sometimes you are so hungry that the only you can be fed is to fast.” -Susan Gregory, Author of The Daniel Fast

I’ve been in a funk.

Call it exhausted, call it unfocused, call it an influx of hormones, call it hungry.

I’ve been all over the place lately and its time to reel it in, but not by me.

Yesterday was one of those “last days.” But it was different. I went to Books a Million to sip on a soy latte and spend the day among the books. I went to a cute little French Bakery for lunch and had a veggie scone and cannoli. At work, the girl in the bakery asked if I wanted a little cup of cookie dough, I mean, come on.

But something happened yesterday, other than the normal stomach ache. These things I was filling myself with didn’t hold any weight (other than the bloated tummy I woke up with). I felt the same dull ache in my heart that was there before. These things don’t satisfy. I’m sorry I’m like a broken record with all this stuff, its the “sheep” in me. 😉

Oh, this feeling hurts, this feeling of searching and not finding, of something that once seemed like it might help loose its luster. And I hurt when I see it in others. When I see people chasing the drugs, the sex, the alcohol, the video games, the junk food, the media, the money, the self image, to try and satisfy. These material things will lose there luster, and the dullness will set in. I feel it, but I know the Way out, I just forget sometimes.

In this modern world we live in, we have so many opportunities to fill those spaces. We feel we have to be constantly connected to media, and constantly be fulfilled in some way. We have been trained thanks to the busy-ness of all of our lives, overly rich food, and all our toys that each minute we are meant to be happy. This messes us up. This messes with our relationship with the Lord, and what it looks like to truly follow Christ.

I’m currently reading “7: An experimental mutiny against excess” by Jen Hatmaker and let me tell you, it is messing me up. She does a seven month long fast, where she focuses on a different area of excess each month including food, clothes, possessions, media, waste, spending, and stress. It reads like a journal, but there is so much truth in each entry.

I’m embarking on my own. Not the same as Jen’s. Not a Daniel fast (but very similar). But a fast.

I’m starting with 30 days and I’ll go from there.

I’m still working/praying over the specifics but so far heres what I have.

{The Food Part}

  • A vegan diet
  • No sugar
  • No coffee
  • No fried food
  • Food with minimal processing and packaging.

Each week (maybe two)  I’m going to focus on a different area like media (big one), money, waste, my campus, etc. I’ve got lots of topics.

Today was day one.

I’m hungry.

 

 

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4 thoughts on “when you’re hungry.

  1. Hi Hannah, I stumbled upon your blog by googling. I realized my unhealthy relationship with food (over indulgence) & I’ve been trying to fast sugar/sweets/carbs that are not in my food list since 8/18/12 & just been constantly failing. I’ve had too many “last days” & when I get started with the “last day” @ breakfast time well, I pretty much ruin the whole day with my “last day” mentality by going all out the whole day with the bread, almond butter and chocolate! It breaks my heart & makes me feel miserable that I cant seem to honor God with the fast that I promised Him. I havent read all your entries but Im just glad that I found your blog. it’s encouraging & I dont feel alone with my struggles. my most successful days is when I spend a lot of time praying in the morning and really conciously think about scripture during the day. It’s a moment by moment battle. one day at a time.

    • Amy, that is why I write. I know theres others who feel the same and we need to connect! Your comment has touched me so much. That last day mentality can be so destructive. Praying for you new friend!

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