It feels like new territory I’m entering. The idea of being healed. It always sounded nice, but there are some big things that come with that word. Like, that means laying down old stuff. It means being open about it, all the time. And thats scary.
I’m not there yet.
But the yet, thats where I lean in to hope. The “yet” tells me I have more to walk and more to learn, so much to learn. The “yet” reminds me that I am not in this alone, and that He is still leading me.
He knows my fear of laying down habits which were used for comfort. He knows the times I’ve told Him I would start over, that “this was it” and yet, He’s still here. The good girl in me gets caught up in how many times I think I’ve failed, focusing on all that I haven’t done. But my Good and Gracious God thinks of all that He is bringing me to and the love He is continually pouring on me.
I forget His kindness because I’m too focused on me. The times I fall short and feel too broken. But I look to His kindness and it leads. It leads to repentance, it leads to healing.
“Or do you despise the riches of His kindness, restraint, and patience, not recognizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?”