Not working on final papers. 😉
I’ve got about 17-18 days until I’m done with this semester, not that I’m counting, but its starting to hit me just a little that next year is senior year. I’m SO glad I decided not to pursue graduating early because that would be even scarier. This semester is almost done and then I’ll be spending most of my summer in Guatemala, which I still haven’t fully processed yet either. I started thinking about packing the other day and that certainly makes it seem more real. I have to fit eight weeks of life including a sleeping bag/camera/water bottle/journal/bible/toiletries/snackies/shoes/etc. into less than a 50lb backpack. Which, I also have to get. (Tax refund, please hurry).
I am incredibly excited for Guatemala, but with the impending reality of senior year my mind has been skipping to next summer, next year, careers and “real” life. When I changed my major last year, it felt so right and still does, but I think a big part of why it does is changing. When I changed from dietetics to English I did so thinking it would be a fun major, just to get a degree and then go into mission work or teaching abroad. I knew I wanted to teach eventually, after a few fun years wander lusting I could come back and settle back into that “real life.” I still have some of that desire, but recently I’ve been drawn to other options. This also means that I’ve been researching it far and wide, thinking about it nonstop- wondering if I would be accepted, wishing I had a slightly higher GPA/more volunteer experience/ more leadership roles/etc..
And since my ever-faithful family readers, you are probably wondering what this is I’m thinking about I guess I’ll tell ya. I’ve been intrigued about the Teach For America program for a little while and my desire to teach in an inner city continued to grow. But after some mixed reviews from people that have done it and some researching, I began looking into other options. So one morning when I couldn’t sleep, I found the United Teacher Residency program. Its based of the medical residency approach where you apply to become a “resident” and do a year of grad school/interning and commit 3-4 years of teaching in an inner city. Most of them are pretty competitive, and I would be applying in the fall which is why I’ve been thinking so much about it (really, for only the last couple weeks). And really, The Lord might totally change my heart for something else, and I know that if this is where He wants me then it will happen someway, but trusting in that can be hard. Plus, I know God is constantly reminding me (even right now) that I have no reason to stress/worry about these things, just work as all things are for His glory and He will take care of the rest.
So in the midst of all these final papers and projects, and the always ominous “future” thoughts, things feel like they are coming quick. My Guatemala trip will be here before I know it, then senior year and all that holds will be right around the corner. Once I get through these final weeks, I know I can focus on getting ready for that and will hopefully be consistent in blogging through that process. 🙂
If you’re still reading, major props. I just really needed to process
and share it with the world. 😉 I write all these things knowing that I could look back on this and laugh. Maybe the Lord is laughing now, because He already knows and He’s saying, “Hannah, my silly child, just trust me.” Maybe He uses these times when I think too much to remind me that whatever I do and wherever I am I’m called to love Him and love others.
So with this inconclusive ending, I say goodnight. AND Be back soon. 🙂